If I Die Young

Who would have thought forever could be severed by

the sharp knife of a short life, oh well?I've had just enough time

There are times that death seems like a good idea. With all the things going around within me and around me, it feels like death is a sweet escape. The way I see it, death is my salvation. I am eaten by my own thoughts, and I am feeding them with my wild imaginings. Don't get me wrong, I love life. I love how I am able to do things. I love a lot of things, though sometimes they don't love me back. But its fucking hard doing it. Its hard surviving life and its even harder to try and do it with so much happiness. They say life is God's gift, but you know what I think, life is God's ultimate trial and death is our greatest reward.

And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'

Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

The hardest part is figuring out who is worth spending life with. Is it really that hard to find genuine people nowadays? I guess. There are those who will just drain the life out of you then leave you behind eventually. There are those who can only give words but will not justify it with actions. There are those who make false promises. There are those, whose sole purpose is to criticize every muscle you will move. There are those who will hurt you. There are those who wouldn't give a fuck at all. I've seen it all, been with them all. In hindsight, they make life even more colorful, though I'd rather have mine in black and white. I'd rather have one person who will actually be there for me no matter what that being surrounded by people who will only make me feel alone.

If I die young, bury me in satin

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Sink me in the river at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song

I'd like to say I wouldn't give up on life. That I still see something worth fighting for. But everyday I am losing hope, everyday a die a little. Everyday is a battle to be happy, to live and not just exist and we all know that every battle will leave us wounded. I am not asking for the meaning of life, I just want something to make my life meaningful. I think its stupid that we are so afraid of dying, I am. Then I thought, we are all born to die, but its the journey, not the destination.