Anatomy of a Tarpaulin

When our ancestors were still cave dwellers and fire devotees, they used cave walls and tree trunks, even leaves to announce festivities, to warn other cave dwellers that there's a dragon near by, or they simple want to greet each other for a reason I don't know. Charles Darwin should have included this as something that underwent evolution for cave walls and true trunks, even leaves are what we know now as ... Tarpaulins. This is Metered Network and I am Gene, join me as we tackle this marvelous evolution of humanity's love of uhmm announcing things. This is...

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By definition (Wikipedia style) a tarpaulin, colloquially tarp, is a large sheet of strong, flexible, water-resistant or waterproof material, often cloth such as canvas or polyester coated with urethane, or made of plastics such as polyethylene. Tarpaulins often have reinforced grommets at the corners and along the sides to form attachment points for rope, allowing them to be tied down or suspended. But here, in my beloved tropical country, a tarpaulin is much more than that. A Tarp can used as a sign, it can also be celebratory device, a tricycle cover, a shopping bag, and most of all a sorta like greeting card.

But despite is universality, a Tarp cannot be used irresponsibly. There is a certain guideline to be followed  strictly that defies aesthetics, basic engineering, physics and common sense.

But first, here is the correct structure of a Tarp, with the intention of greeting a specific area or group of people .

As you can see, it is imperative that your picture is included in the tarpaulin so that people can recognize you when you walk down the street and have the opportunity to thank you, or recognize you when you appear in the television to extend your greetings to the whole world. Next, your name should occupy at least a third of the whole Tarp (excluding your picture) and should be written in the biggest, the brightest and most legible font possible. Monotype Corsiva or Gigi is not really advised. You can also add titles like Mr. Ms. Mrs. Hon. Sen. whatever you prefer to be called after summer. You could also add cliched promises which costs a different space from your name (and title). However, it is proven that cliched promises is very effective in grabbing your desired voters audience's attention. 

The last part is the very greetings. Now don't worry if it seems to be lacking of space, because it is believed that less is more, and its not the size but the thought that counts. Messages and greetings could range from Happy Holidays to Congratulations Batch 2012 to this project is brought to you by... There are tons of seasons and events to chose but only one reason to do so, and that is to greet amazing people. 

After all is set, and you think your tarp is enough to let people vote know you, the next step is choosing a spot. It can be a tree, a Meralco post, a Baranggay arc, waiting sheds, electric line and gates. The trick is the tarp should be seen by many people, don't worry if the tarp is blocking the view or might cause black outs because we all know that you only want one thing, to greet people. 

With that I end my report for tonight. I hope everyone especially those who dream high, are able to get very useful information.Thank you very much folks, tomorrow, we will discuss advertising! Have a good night folks, smile!