I should have kissed you, right there and then.
If it was even possible that we can forget snippets of what we've done and throw it away, I swear I would have kissed you that night. Had I been braver, I would have done it without second thoughts. I was actually waiting for the alcohol to kick in so somehow I can finally muster even a small amount of courage to steal a kiss from you. I don't know if the alcohol is weak, or I am weak, or we are just both fucked up.
I was over you, I really thought I am. What makes it even harder to process is that we are nothing but plain friends, at least to you. If that's the case, I have nothing to hold on to, I have no memories of us being 'together' to go back to and dwell on. From the start I knew we were never be more than what we are and yet, here I am, blogging while crying like I'm in some romantic comedy. If this is our supposed story, the world must be really fucked up.
I just realized yesterday that no matter how smart a person is, only love can make us feel like we've been very stupid. I am much better than this, I know I am. But I think I am allowed, even for a day, to contemplate and think of things way beyond my comprehension. Though it doesn't feel right, or even comforting, I think I need this to forget. I need this to realize the beauty of the world I am living in. I need to be hurt so that I can value my happiness. I need to be sad, because I am human.
I can't believe I'm being too gloomy on a Sunday morning. The weather's fine but I am just too sad to even muster a smile today. I hope your Sunday is much much better folks. Have good day, Smile!
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