I always ask myself: Would I have been a better person if I grew up with a complete family? It's not that I hate what I am, it's just that there are things in life that's hard to deal with. I envy those people with a complete family, how I wish mine is, too. Sometimes, I blame my parents for all of what I'm going through. Though I know its wrong, but they were responsible for my existence, and they are supposed to be my guide as I go through life. Sadly, I had to do it on my own. I had to learn about things the hard way, because no one told me about them. I had to find ways to deal with loneliness because I have no one to share it with. I had to find ways how to be happy because no one will do it for me. It made me strong, yes, but moments of weakness leaves me devastated. Just last night, I had to go out of my room cause I don't feel good. I have always been escaping, that is what I'm good at. But one day, I know it will not be enough.
For those people with their family beside them, cherish that moment, cause I guarantee you, you wouldn't want to know how to live without one. Honestly, I'd rather not this life again. Given the chance, I would rather live in poverty with a family than to live in luxury with just me.
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